The divorce that never ends!

So, today was another day in court! I'm becoming a regular. I must say that I was nervous going in, but ended up being fairly pleased with the course of action.

My ex, decided to go to court today to try to have his child support reduced. I thought, how funny since he doesn't pay it anyway! Well, the judge tore him a new one this morning. I was thrilled to hear the judge finally, for lack of better terms, "put him in his place".

I live each day for my daughter. I wake up excited to care for her and go to bed anticipating our next adventure. I work hard to try to provide the very best for her and try each day to figure out how I'm going to afford to finish school, while her father goes on his merry way and provides no support for her. He constantly harasses me and tells me what a bad mother I am. He tells me how I think of no one but myself and for a split second I started to think I was the problem. Then I realized he's talking about him self. NO ONE can ever say I don't love or care for my daughter, because I will do ANYTHING for her and love her more than words could ever describe. I only want her to grow up feeling happy and loved and to have God by her side. If that's the definition of a bad mother, than so be it!

He did get a temporary reduction, but no where near what he was trying for. Thank you God, for being by my side again. I hope for peace, soon!

Colorado Bound!

Well, Wednesday's the big day! I'm so excited about going to Colorado. I'll admit I'm a little nervous about how I'm going to occupy Ms. Ashlyn on the plane. I'm so excited for her getting to be with mommy for an entire week, away from everything here. I'll have to find a neat charm for her charm bracelet so when she's older I can tell her all about her very first BIG travel experience. I think we are going to have a wonderful time, and the weather seems like it's going to be very nice, with the exception of the evenings. How can a place be in the upper 70's to low 80's one minute and drop to the 30's the next? I guess I'm about to find out! :) I can't wait to tell all about it when we get back. As for now, reality lurks in the midst! I have a final exam to take tomorrow and one more day of work! Gees! Good night, and tell everyone to please stop worrying about the swine flu!

Update on my sweet baby!

Well, this morning didn't start out so well. Ashlyn was still feeling bad. She really has me worried because she is such a happy baby and she has just not been herself now for two days. She is obviously very uncomfortable. I had to call her doctor this morning since she still wasn't feeling well, or acting like herself. The doctor asked me to bring her into the office, where they checked her out and sent her for a repeat x-ray. The x-ray looked a little better than it did last night but still had a significant gas pattern. The doctor also suspects she has intersucception, that keeps correcting on its own.

They wanted to admit her this evening just to monitor her, but weren't going to do IV or anything else, so I told them I could monitor her at home. I also said I would definitely be back if she worsened during the night. I'm praying she will feel better and I don't have to make the dreaded Vanderbilt ER visit. Not to mention, I just want my baby to be all better.

Well, I'm going to try to get some sleep now. I'm exhausted!

A long Evening in the ER with my baby girl!

Today has been a rough day for my little lady bug, but it all started last night. We had a very busy day yesterday with gymnastics, an Easter Egg hunt at the church, and her cousins first birthday party. When we got home, she was acting pretty lethargic, but I assumed it was because she had a very hectic day. Boy was I wrong! This morning she woke up and was acting sleepy, but I decided to go ahead and give her a morning bottle. Shortly after finishing it, she vomited all over my mom and it was projectile. Then she fell asleep and sleep for hours. When she woke, she was in vomit again. I decided to call my ER friends and see if I could bring her in and have one of them look at her ears, because she had been tugging on ears. My mom and dad decided to follow me there because I was suppose to work, but on the way to the ER it was like the exorcist was in my back seat. I first heard a gurgle, which scared me to death, and then the heaving. My poor baby and my backseat were covered!

At the ER, the doctor came in to look at Ashlyn. She decided to have an IV and some fluids, draw some blood, and get some urine. The IV went well, but broke my heart. It's so different when it's your own. They drew the blood when they started the IV so she only had to be stuck once. The urine, well she decided she wasn't going to pee-pee her panties this time. Later, they sent her for an x-ray after suspecting intersucception. The blood results came back normal, the x-ray showed a lot of air in the upper portion of her abdomen (which shouldn't be there), and the pee-pee, still none. Finally, they did an in and out catheter. It was clear, but showed a lot of ketones.

After deciding that she didn't need to be admitted after all, we were sent home nearly six hours later and told strictly clear liquids all day tomorrow. If no improvement, follow up with her pediatrician in the morning. Well, my baby is home and sleeping right now, but she does keep whimpering here and there. Hopefully, we will have a better day tomorrow.

In the midst of Ashlyn being in the ER, so was Claudia, my niece. They suspect peanut allergy with her. She is also home and doing well. No more peanuts for her! Pray for our girls!

History Project that was understood!

So, this evening I had to turn in a paper for history about something in the news and how it relates to history. I was under the impression the paper had to be at least 500 words and no more than 1000. Well, I was ever so mistaken! It was to be no less than 1000 words and no more than 5000. How in the world did I get that messed up?

Luckily I have an extremely understanding Professor who found my experience to be quite humerous. He agreed to let me re-write my paper and turn it in next Wednesday, so guess what I'm doing all day tomorrow? I think I better come up with a new topic as well since my other topic was a bit too broad.

I'm glad I'm doing well in the class and my professor is understanding, otherwise I would be up a creek without a paddle. I only have two weeks of class left and can't afford to mess it up now! My new topic, I think, is going to be about invitro fertilization and the octomom. I know I can write 5 pages on that! hehe

Ashlyn, my little darling!

Today was an exciting day! I woke up this morning prepared to take Ashlyn for her first day of gymnastics. I was up almost all night with great anticipation! I thought to myself, "This can go one of two ways, really well, or what was I thinking." Much to my amazement, it went really well! In fact, they told me she did so well, that it would be perfectly fine if she went to the two year old class! GO GIRL! She has done so well at everything thus far in her life, I only hope it will continue on.

The next big adventure for the day was going to be Easter Egg hunting at the Williamson County Recreation Center, which didn't happen. It started at 10 am, we got there at 10:15 and people were already leaving. I would have parked and tried to see what the deal was, since people were still lined up, but Ashlyn was beginning to get a bit sleepy, so I decided a nap was far more important. Besides, she has two more Easter Egg hunts lined up these next couple weeks.

I just love this little ladybug. She's the greatest part of my life. I look forward to each day, to see what it will bring. You just never know what she will do next. Her new thing is the dogs, she loves them. She and Cotton are buddies for sure. They play all day and she loves to laugh at him. She also loves to hug and kiss them both. The cutest is when she goes up to them and does her little fingers and says, "Getty, getty getty!" It's adorable!

Well, I have to get back to my history paper now, but I'll write more when I finish it!

Discovery Questions!

I just finished working on discovery questions for my divorce. Yes, I have been working on them for 11 hours now and only taking a break to go to the bathroom once and go to dinner a second time. The questions are so time consuming and might I add ridiculous. I'm being asked about jobs I had in high school. I'm not just talking about where I worked, I'm talking where I worked, how long I worked there, who my supervisor's were, address, phone number, pay rate, job title, work schedule, etc. HELLO! I graduated 11 years ago, therefore meaning I worked at those places almost 15 years ago in some cases. Not to mention the fact that I worked three jobs and went to high school, so there was a lot of over lapping. GEES! Oh and I love the questions about my monthly expenses and thrown in there is a question about how much I spend a month on liquor. Anyone who really knows me, knows I'm not a big drinker! I hardly, if ever, drink! They need to ask my ex that question! I have better and more important things to do with my time then to waste it on petty questions that mean nothing as to the well being of my daughter. How about asking her father a few questions pertaining to his living arrangements and why he can take his girlfriend out but he can't pay his child support. How about ask him why he wants to harrass me one minute and then try to be nice the next thinking it's going to get him somewhere! I'm really getting tired of this system we have. I filed a complaint with the child support office and was told I would be called in the next 6-8 weeks with an appointment with a case worker. It's been 9 weeks now and do you think I have heard a word? I realize there are a lot of dead beat dads out there, don't get me wrong, and I don't think I'm any better than anyone else, but if I'm told 6-8 weeks, I like it to be that! I'm just saying! Excuse me for rambling, but I have been working on these questions for hours and it is after midnight and I am very angry right now. In addition to these 28 questions, his attorney has also sent me a request for the production 18 documents. Documents that I have no clue how I am suppose to come up with because I don't know about you, but I shread things after about two years. She is asking for our joint bank account information. Well, I shredded all of that after the account was closed, why was I going to need that? Paystubs from 2004, again shredded except for the last two years. As for taxes I do keep the last 5 years of those, but the ex has them and refuses to produce them. Again, what do I do? This is the most annoying process I have ever gone through in my life and I beleive I will never marry again, for the simple possibility of divorce. I'm sure none of you want to here my complaining so I'm going to try to go to bed now. Please pray for me! I'm going to need all the prayers I can get!

Life has been busy!

I haven't had much time lately to write which greatly disheartens me! I have been busy with my daughters first birthday, school, the scare of my grand-father's illness, and of course my ongoing battle with my ex!

On a good note, there was my daughter's first birthday bash! Boy was it great! It was a ladybug theme! That morning, my dad woke and was reading his daily devotional and low and behold it was about ladybugs! How amazing! The cake, made by Publix, was adorable! I have to say I did a magnificent job with the party, thanks to the help of family! Ashlyn seemed to really enjoy the day and looked adorable! I'll add pictures later!

School is going well, but we are really behind on the syllabus and it's causing a lot of catch up! I have a quiz every class and a test in two weeks. I have a big paper due by the 15th. It's just crunch time, nothing major! I really like my professor though, he seems to know what he's talking about and seems to be willing to help us out the best he can.

As for my grand-father, I'm so glad he's home! He gave us quite a scare. I'm still very upset that I was unable to go see him because my jerk ex couldn't answer his phone or return a phone call. He has a lot of nerve! I really love my grand-father with all my heart and want him to know that I hope I find a man just like him next go round! I really messed up the first time!

Then, there's my never ending divorce! Now the jerk is fighting me for joint custody! How can you not pay child support, not have a stable job, or a stable living environment and want to even attempt to get joint custody? The expensive of this divorce now is astronomical, not to mention ridiculous! Need I say more!

Well, I'm tired right now so I'm going to bed but I hope to drop a few lines later! Love to all of my followers!

Another Day1

Well, so goes another day. I got my beautiful daughter back from her father this afternoon so I can now rest knowing she is home safe with me. I love her more than anything in this world!

I have a full day planned tomorrow! We have to finish up her birthday party planning. I'm so excited about her birthday but I'm a little nervous as well. I'm having it at Granny White Park so the kids can stay entertained with the playground. But I'm having a little trouble deciding what kinds of party favors to have and what kinds of games to play! She's going to be the big ONE!

I can't believe my little girl is growing up! She's such a little lady, hence my calling her my ladybug! Well, I don't have much to say right now, because my brain is a little fried after my History test this evening! Maybe more tomorrow night!

D*I*V*O*R*C*E

As you all may know, I'm going through a divorce. It was suppose to be simple and take about 10 hours, but now 8 months later I'm still nowhere closer to ending this horrible marriage.

My ex, the one who wanted the divorce in the first place, left my daughter and me on July 3, 2008. He continues to refuse to sign papers, has paid a total of one months worth of child support, takes my daughter around these nasty girlfriends (I have been told they look like they are strung out on crack), has overnight guest of the opposite sex when my daughter is there, has lied about who he lives with, has dark tint on the windows in the front of the house he is staying in, and still he gets away with it all. Which, by the way, most of these are in the temporary parenting plan as not being allowed!

I have been so reasonable, I have allowed him to see his daughter almost every time he's asked even though he asks at the last minute, I have dropped the part about infidelity in the marriage in the divorce papers, I dropped getting alimony, and still he insists on being a jerk. He harasses me constantly by threatening to not bring my daughter home when he is suppose to and so on. Yet, he still continues to get away with it. My attorney, has charged me over $5000 now and I'm not seeing what I am paying her for. Now, before she will do any more for me, she expects me to come up with $500 a month to pay her. I'm struggling enough as is!

I think our judicial system is a crock! The people who do good are the ones who are constantly punished, while those who do bad get a slap on the hand and told "don't do that again, or else". Or else what? We don't enforce our laws, we allow more chances than we should, and we only care about the sake of our reputation. It's time to start doing what we say we are going to do!

So, I have no idea when my divorce will be final and I can move on with my life. For now, I have to be stuck here in limbo not knowing what's going to happen next. While my ex has now hired his own attorney to just drag this on further!

Lying Here

I'm lying here in bed awaiting a new day and wondering why I'm having so much trouble sleeping lately. I know I have a strange schedule and I know I keep odd hours with work, but I should be able to sleep when I feel tired. I just read three chapters of my History homework and then searched online for some info for my upcoming project. You would think I would be snoring by now!

I really think I get this way when my daughter is with her father. I feel helpless and feel like she needs me. What if she wakes in the night, will he be able to deal with her needs? What if she's hungry or wet, will he take care of her? I know the answer to these questions, but I'm a mother and she's my pride and joy. Without my sweet little angel, I feel lost. I just want to be able to squeeze her anytime I want.

I went shopping with mom today and I always enjoy time with her. We bought Ashlyn a few more clothes, then came home to meet my niece. Claudia, my niece, came to spend the night with us. She is the most hilarious child I know. We went back out to buy her some shoes for church tomorrow and some socks. Luckily we struck gold on our first outing. Sometimes I don't know what her mom is thinking when she packs her clothes! It's cold outside and she packs short sleeve shirts, and for church, a dress and tights that don't match with boots. Need I say more! My child always has matching clothes that are appropriate for the season and I have back up outfits in case of emergency. Sometimes being a mother means being prepared for any obstacle or circumstance that may arrive.

Sorry to ramble, but as I said before, "I'm tired". I can't wait until Tuesday morning because my little ladybug will be back home with me and I'll get to squeeze her! I will hopefully get the signed divorce papers back from her father as well. I'm so tired of this divorce process too. A man can walk out of you and your child's life without batting an eye, not pay child support, and only get her when suitable for him and still have all the rights in the world. I say we live in a messed up society where the punishable get rewarded for their bad behaviors/actions. What is this world coming to? I pray that my daughter will have the very best in life and that her father will start paying his dues to her.

Incrediably Tired!!

I am so incredibly tired right now! I am writing to keep myself awake for a bit longer because I have to go take care of a major issue.

I worked a twelve hour shift last night. It was the most boring evening I think I have ever worked in the ER. I truly think we saw 20 patients all night! I'm not complaining, I'm just not used to the ER not being very busy.

I usually get my rooms stocked early in the morning when things have slowed down, but last night I was done by 8:30 pm. What a shocker!!!! Then I had no clue what to get myself into, so I decided to try to come up with a topic for my history project. I think I have decided to do my project on the similarities and differences of The Great Depression and the Financial Crisis we are in today. What do you think?

I was sitting there this evening and had an epiphany! I thought to myself, this financial situation is very similar to the Great Depression. During the Great Depression, our country was in war and had been for some time under the reign of Hoover. During this period a new president was elected, Roosevelt, and he had to fix the mess. Very similar to our situation today, right?

So, I start to research the topics and find a ton of information on the Great Depression and today's financial crisis. I was amazed to know just how similar the events are. I'm really excited about writing my paper now, but I may still need a little help. I have been out of the practice of writing papers and hope to be able to present a great paper.

I'll keep you informed on how it goes!

History

Well, I started History class on Wednesday! I was terrified at first but I think I'm really going to enjoy this class.

I was a little late for the first class, three minutes, and I tried to discretely walk in and find the closest empty seat but my professor decided to call me out. I was a little embarrassed! He said, "And you are?" I answered, "Stacy Owens, sir." He said, "Please come to the front of the class." At this moment I thought my world was over, but he just wanted to give me the syllabus. Boy was I ever so happy to know that he wasn't going to make me do something stupid or ask a question I wouldn't know the answer to.

He started class going over the rules and telling a little about himself. It's good to know that he is a father of five, three of which are in college now, and understands the stress of being a college student and surviving the real world at the same time. He says he wants us to ask him questions and talk to him when we don't understand. I was amazed! In my college experiences so far, the professor could care less about who you are and why you are there.

Once he finished going over the basics, he began class. This class is from 6pm-9pm, by the way. He began lecture at 8pm and ten minutes into the lecture a loud pop came from the front of the classroom and then the powerpoint dissappeared from the screen. He was so confused about what was going on. I raised my hand and said, "Sir, I believe the bulb blew. I heard a pop come from the front of the classroom and then your powerpoint disappeared." He said, "Really, you heard a pop? I guess you are correct." Then he said, "Well, I guess I have no reason to hold you any longer so have a good week and I'll see you next Wednesday." I wasn't sure if I was glad or sad. I've never had that feeling in a class before.

I was bummed that we weren't going to get to finish his lecture. He's not the typical boring history professor. I was able to tell he really enjoyed history and he wanted us to really enjoy it too. (It's one of my favorite subjects) So, I really look forward to class next week!

I have to do projects and I'm having a real hard time deciding what I will do it on. If anyone could offer some advice I would appreciate it. The assignment is as follows: A 10 minute oral report. The object of the report will be to provide the historical underpinnings of a current event in order to draw on historical prospective to evaluate a contemporary issue. This should project should be done in powerpoint format. I don't want to present a report on the new President because I'm sure everyone will do that, but I really don't have a clue what other topic to present. I am excited about this project. I know I sound like a dork, but I really enjoy doing this kind of stuff.

Please help!

My Daughter, My Heart

My calling in life is truely being a mother. My daughter, Ashlyn is the light of my life. She is my inspiration to be the very best I can be. She makes me want to reach my goals and pushes me to make every day great. I love her with all my heart.

The day I found out I was going to be a mother was the scariest day of my life. I thought I wouldn't be very good at it, thought I was too selfish, and thought I wasn't ready for such a big change in my life. Boy was I ever so wrong! I am amazing at this wonderful job. (Not to brag) I play, read, rock, sing, and do all of those motherly things that I once made fun of people for doing and I do most of these things on my own.

My husband left us when she was only 3 months old, and at first I thought my world was coming to an end. I now realize it was just begininng. I luckily have wonderful parents who live close. They are amazing people and helped me by allowing us to move in with them until I can sale my house and really get back on my feet. The only problem now, they are so attached to my little lady bug that they tell me I can move out later but she has to stay. Haha, not happening!

I start back to school next week and have a little bit of anxiety about it, but I know I'll be just fine. All I have to think about is setting an example for Ashlyn. I want her to be her very best. I want her to achieve goals for herself and not to let others, especially boys, influence her decisions. I hope I will be able to set those examples for her.

Well, I'm new at this blog stuff so I think I'll try again later! Tell me how I'm doing.